Euro English  

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it  ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey  vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas kol me ok?

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Government in Childs Mind  

Politics as what this child understands.

This about sums it up!!!
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are  Politics?" Dad says,
"Well son, let me try to  explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The  President.
#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money,  so we call her the Government.
#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll  call you the People.
#4. The maid, well we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the  Future. Okay.?

"Now, go on and think about that and see if it  makes sense."
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about  what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying,  so he gets up to check
on him. He finds that the  baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So, the little  boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother  sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the maid's room. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed,  with
the maid. So, he gives up and goes  back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his  Father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of  politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own  words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies: "Well, the President is  screwing the Working Class
while the Government  is sound asleep, and the People are being ignored
while the Future is in deep shit."

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The Success of Marriage  

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: ' Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: ' We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'. She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.'

Husband: 'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

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