Welcome to Air India  

WELCOME TO AIR INDIA ( hope you know this airline in India )

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen... .
This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing passengers to board on Air INDIA .
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off,it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre .

This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India .. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing in your village!

Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us . I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary water and Vada Pav. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television >However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to SAUDI Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt , kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat , do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess , who will explain how to fasten yoursedlf to your suitcase ,,,,

Thanking you for boarding

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Selected Sardar Jokes  

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the
indicator and asks the other to check whether
its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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