Speak Singlish and Manglish  

To those who speak Singlish and Manglish.
This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numbers!

Exclusively. .. only to those great Malaysians and Singaporeans. .......

Ah Beng was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6, 7,8,9 and 10 . Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I felt 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

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Sardar-HA HA HA!!!!!!!  

Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part?
sardar : Kya which part? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheelers.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10 /- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile?

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see
any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child.

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Secret love letter  

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl. However the girl's
father does not like him and want to stop their relationship. So
the boy wrote the letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's
father will definitely read this letter.


"The great love that I have for you
is gone and I find my dislike for you
grows everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You only think of yourself.
If we were married, I know I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help me.
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this is the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."


So bad!! But before handing over the letter to his sweetheart,
the guy called the girl to read only the ODD no. lines i.e.
1,3,5,7,......,25.
So go through it again and you will find its smart and sweet.
With Love

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Check before you Act  

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow Droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing To the client...!!!

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Desperate students during math exams  





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Hosur Road - Bangalore Electronic City  


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Blind Man at Sardar's Bar  

A blind man enters a Sardar's Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a
drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Sardar
joke?" The bar
immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the man next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sirji, I
think it is just fair - giving that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1- The bartender is a Sardar.

2- The bouncer is a Sardar.

3- I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. and a Sardar with a black belt in karate.

4- The man sitting next to me is Sardar and is a professional weight-lifter.

5- The gentleman to your right is a Sardar and is a professional kushti pailwan.

Now think about it seriously, Paji. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah.Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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