Biggest hug....  

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies  and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.

Luckily, I  see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the
beach.  However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live  on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs  5 lakh cheque to ICICI Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay for our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheque for the auto
loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that too, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gave her the biggest  hug  in 40 years. Mona pulls
away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
....

...

...

...












Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!"

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INTERVIEW QUESTIONS  

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round..... Be careful while you answering, No one will GET second chance to impress....

Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:


An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet)
Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet)

Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.

So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. .........


This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"

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FUNNY LINES  

Girlfriend: Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in
this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can
keep it.

Husband & Wife driving on a high way come across pigs on the road
Husband : your relatives
Wife: yaa my inlaws…

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Speak Singlish and Manglish  

To those who speak Singlish and Manglish.
This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numbers!

Exclusively. .. only to those great Malaysians and Singaporeans. .......

Ah Beng was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6, 7,8,9 and 10 . Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I felt 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

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Sardar-HA HA HA!!!!!!!  

Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part?
sardar : Kya which part? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheelers.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10 /- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile?

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see
any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child.

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Secret love letter  

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl. However the girl's
father does not like him and want to stop their relationship. So
the boy wrote the letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's
father will definitely read this letter.


"The great love that I have for you
is gone and I find my dislike for you
grows everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You only think of yourself.
If we were married, I know I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help me.
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this is the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."


So bad!! But before handing over the letter to his sweetheart,
the guy called the girl to read only the ODD no. lines i.e.
1,3,5,7,......,25.
So go through it again and you will find its smart and sweet.
With Love

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Check before you Act  

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow Droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing To the client...!!!

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Desperate students during math exams  





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Hosur Road - Bangalore Electronic City  


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Blind Man at Sardar's Bar  

A blind man enters a Sardar's Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a
drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a Sardar
joke?" The bar
immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the man next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sirji, I
think it is just fair - giving that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1- The bartender is a Sardar.

2- The bouncer is a Sardar.

3- I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. and a Sardar with a black belt in karate.

4- The man sitting next to me is Sardar and is a professional weight-lifter.

5- The gentleman to your right is a Sardar and is a professional kushti pailwan.

Now think about it seriously, Paji. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah.Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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Magic sentence....!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Read the sentence below carefully...

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness".

This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long.
e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on

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AS 36: Accounting for Girl Friends*  

*Objective:*

The objective of AS 36 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for Girl friends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a female friend as a girl friend, the no. of days the relationship can be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make GF.

*Scope:*

This AS applies to all GF's except those whose father, brother, ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army, intelligence agencies or political organizations or 6+ feet tall, have muscular body and know karate, kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.

*Definitions: *

The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:

LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies, dramas and Urdu literature.

FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and contemporary literature.

MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the health and money.

GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts that is probable to generate future dates, intangible pleasures and gifts. If not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.

BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the GF over its useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of the flirting term

FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:

-from your first conversation till the time the GF father catches you

-from the time of your first date till your GF get married with another person ,in which case she will become your ex-GF.

-from the time of your first date till you get married with your GF, afterward it will become a suffering term.


*RECOGNITION*


A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:

(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,

(b) no possibility of GF becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and

(c) the expenditures to be incurred ( e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc ) can be measured reliably

Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective girlfriends.

*MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GF*

All the following factors shall be considered in determining the useful life of a GF:

(a) Expected "usage" of the girlfriend.

(b) Expected "physical" wear and tear, which depends on "operational" factors such as the number of "shifts" the GF is to be used.

(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in fashion or "service output" of the GF.

(d) "Legal" or similar limits on the "use" of the GF.

*DE-RECOGNITION*

The Girl Friend shall be derecognized:

1. at the end of the useful life of GF or flirting term whichever is earlier,

2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or

3. when remote possibility of GF becoming long term liability occurs.

*DISCLOSURE*

The flirting statement shall disclose, for each "class" of GF:

A) Total no. of GFs with:

‧ age of GF

‧ complexion, face cut

‧ the useful life of each GF

‧ email address, residential address and mobile no. of each GF

‧ any "special" benefits that may have been derived from the GF


B) A reliable estimate of the boy friend regarding no. of expected GFs for each class of GF.

C) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred ( e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of GF.

D) BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE with respect to each class of GF.

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The Law of Survival  

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger that looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nike.

His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"

I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".

!!!Welcome to the corporate world!!!

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How do you eat your Masala Dosa?  

There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person that is you…

Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.

Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group

Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.

Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.

Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.

Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life. Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.

Case 3. 2 : People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.

Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.

Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.

Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.

Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group. They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.

Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first: Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.

Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.

Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.

So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person!!

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A letter from a Sardarni Mother to her son.  

Subject: A letter from a Sardarni Mother to her son.

My dear .................. Singh,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not
have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will
remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put
in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we
cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club.
We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him
and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

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Veternary doctor.  

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man: I sleep vigilantly like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the begining itself that you are are an engineer. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.

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Some Rules that NEWTON forgot to mention...  

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

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Welcome to Air India  

WELCOME TO AIR INDIA ( hope you know this airline in India )

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen... .
This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing passengers to board on Air INDIA .
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off,it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre .

This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India .. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing in your village!

Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us . I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary water and Vada Pav. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television >However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to SAUDI Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt , kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat , do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess , who will explain how to fasten yoursedlf to your suitcase ,,,,

Thanking you for boarding

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Selected Sardar Jokes  

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
********************************

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
********************************

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the
indicator and asks the other to check whether
its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

********************************

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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ultimate e Mail  

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing
his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned
from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed intothe room,
found his mother on the floor, and saw the
computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW !
Your loving Hubby


Cheers

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Sardar in Singapore  

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to Singapore . They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before 10.00pm or other wise lift will not be available and they have to take the steps. They agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30 . Since lift is not available they decided to take the stairways, under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that has to last for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble. After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only". Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor. Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, " I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end". They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys where in my pocket only".

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor. After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:
...
....
....

" This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this".

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Sardar Strikes again.......  

Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part?
sardar : Kya which part? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheelers.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10 /- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile?

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see
any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child.

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